24: Leftover Steak Ain't So Bad

Now let’s see, where was I when I last signed off ….

Oh yes, I was telling you that Denis and I were going on a short vacation for close to a week, a week of camping somewhere in the state of New York.

As planned, we picked him up at the intersection of Roy and Route 112, around 1A.M., on June 16th.

I sat in the front passenger seat, Shadow at the wheel, Denis sat in the back, he and I held hands all the way to Buffalo, my arm was killing me, but it was a good kind of pain!

I spend my ‘clandestine honeymoon’ under a pup tent somewhere around Batavia on one of the Finger Lakes’ campgrounds, in the state of New York.

Shadow was meeting up with a ‘friend’ who worked close by. They dined out every evening and brought us their leftover steak and baked potatoes.

Let it be known that left-over rib steak and taters tastes pretty darn good when the only other thing that’s been nourished is your sexual appetite!

I could fill you in on the fun things we did while on vacation, it’s not like we spent our entire time in the tent, we did come up for air every now and then:-)

Kidding aside, we had a great time, Shadow let us use her car to visited the area, we also played games, took nice long walks in the country side, visited a couple arcades, played PacMan and drank our fair share of beer.  I had never been drunk in my entire life and I decided it was the perfect time to give it a try.

Strangely enough it wasn't quite as I’d expected.  I drank several beers, and the next thing I knew was that I felt a bit dizzy, and when I got up, I fell down, it was like I didn't have any legs and all the while I was struggling to get up I was laughing like an idiot.  Shortly afterwards, I fell asleep.

When I woke up there was no hangover, no headache, but I did feel hungry, hungry for some more time under the pup tent!

Friday morning while packing the car for the return trip home I felt that I could have died right there and then,  and not regretted one single moment we had spent together.  I think I can honestly say that had I not had children that I loved dearly, I would have chosen to run off with him had he asked.

I wanted to be with him so much so that it actually hurt, my heart ached knowing that at best we would only have fleeting moments together, nothing permanent, just stolen moments now and then.

We held hands all the way back to Canada while the voices in  my head were silently screaming God help me what am I going to do!

Falling in love was not part of my plan. None of this was!

I was in a loveless marriage with two lovely kids.  Kids who loved their father deeply, it’s not like I could just up and leave and move on with my life.

On more than one occasion after a rather nasty argument I did move out,  but I always went back.

Why, you ask?

Because I was being told how heartless I was to be tearing my family apart this way.  Because I didn't want to be the awful one. Because time and time again I was reminded that I’d made my bed, and that I must live with the consequences.

Needless to say most of my days were filled with a heavy duty dose of guilt, I remained with Mr. R, yet all the while Denis and I continued our illicit love affair.

It took almost even years before the straw finally broke the camel’s back! ............... <Next>